Some thoughts came into my mind in the shower after watching a HK drama about the high court – but what I was thinking wasn’t related to the Courts of Justice or legal stuff – instead, it’s about romantic relationships. Why?
The episode ended on a meaningful note, to me, because the female lawyer was being chided by her male colleague for being foolish and emotional and hence behaved unprofessionally during one of the hearings for a lawsuit. The truth is that she still had feelings for her ex boyfriend and refused to believe that he had made use of her (by gathering evidence through her via some situations) to try and win the case.
The points made by the male colleague are that
- when a guy wants to dump the girl, he can come up with any reason (including the fact that he got a girl pregnant and has to marry her, in the case of the drama serial) and that reason may well be a lie
- women (like the female lawyer) are emotional creatures who let their hearts rule their minds and choose to believe the sweet nothings that men say
- it is unprofessional, and foolish of women like her to incorporate personal reasons into their decision making process, and hence, cloud their perspectives
I was immediately struck by the 3 points made because of my personal experiences. I’ve been dating, things didn’t work out for starkly different reasons and in the end, I think what I received are lessons, wisdom and memories. Maybe quite a lot of drama too, and I may not have survived if not for my own determination to move on, and lots of support from friends.
Definitely, I was emotional, rushed into things sometimes and let my heart do the talking. It’s nothing right or wrong – I just haven’t met the right person for myself.
There is only so much you can do to maintain a relationship, and it takes 2 to clap. A close male friend actually lamented how his girlfriend is being “too nice” to him and it almost makes him uncomfortable. Another friend put up with his demanding girlfriend whom he couldn’t communicate with and continues being with her because he “couldn’t let go”. And there are girls out there who stand by their partners despite being in abusive, unhappy relationships.
Where is the logic?
Well a friend predicted that I will only meet my soul mate – one who is truly meant for me – only in my 30s. That’s more than 10 years to go for me?
Which is unsurprising, because I have as much faith in romantic relationships as a dying bird in the winter cold now. Haha! Sounds pessimistic, but that’s the way it is. Thrice bitten, and I’m finally shy.
I never really believed in searching for love, much less “love at first sight”, and I have even fewer reasons to believe in those now. Fairy tales only exist in fairy tales. And maybe HK serial dramas – I find quite a few dream partners in those actually. And they look VERY good too!
Then again, even Singapore’s most famous single women, The Straits Times editor Sumiko Tan, found love (and marriage) in her junior college sweetheart, at age 46. Just what is impossible?
Ending off this post with a touching commercial from Canon – love exists, it’s a matter of whether you’re meant to meet it.
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